Diagnosis to July 2024 - Chapter 2
In July 2023, I was diagnosed with Ramsay Hunt syndrome (RHS). It all started when my daughter rushed me to the emergency room due to symptoms that resembled a stroke, including high blood pressure, severe vertigo, nausea, and difficulty walking.
Within two days, my life changed dramatically; I went from being independent to partially paralyzed and disabled. I had never heard of RHS until I received the MRI results, and the next day, half of my face became paralyzed with synkinesis. RHS is a rare neurological disorder that causes rash and facial nerve inflammation. It is caused by the varicella-zoster virus, which also causes chickenpox and shingles. The excruciating shingles outbreak affected the facial nerves of the right side of my ear, mouth, tongue, and nostrils, resulting in weakness and damage to my facial nerves.
After receiving the diagnosis, I immediately began medical treatment in the ICU. The therapy involved three IV tubes, antiviral and steroid medications, as well as medication for blood pressure, nausea, vertigo, and pain. This treatment continued for six days following the MRI. Despite never having taken this many medications in my life, they are significantly effective during this critical period of my health challenges. In addition, after my release from the hospital, I started acupuncture treatment five days later, which reduced my pain and relaxed my whole nervous system and muscles.
The facial synkinesis changed my appearance and affected my ability to speak and smile. My right eye drooped, I couldn't close it, I needed tape to close it when I slept, my mouth became unstraightened, and I experienced severe balance issues. My right ear's tinnitus and hearing loss caused extreme sensitivity to sounds. Additionally, I struggled with memory loss, brain fog fatigue, and loss of speech. I barely and vaguely remember anything about this survival process besides extreme physical pain.
In spite of everything that was happening, I remember having one vivid encounter: one evening, lying in the ICU bed, I suddenly saw the night sky appear before my eyes; it was breathtaking, unimaginable, filled with sparkling golden stars against the darkest pitch-black space, the backdrop. I saw the two traditional Japanese hearses and a thousand people holding candles as they sauntered, creating a surreal scene as if watching a movie. I was experiencing something, an unearthly eerie encounter; I felt threatened in fear of the unknown beyond anything I had seen.
It felt like what others have described as a near-death experience, but I was unsure what exactly it was; it far exceeded my imagination.
At the same time, the right side of my body felt paralyzed, but I felt no pain. But indeed, I was experiencing a phenomenon caught between two dimensions in my semi-conscious state. Perhaps to find closure and complete my life work before leaving the earth's body. Now, if I am facing the end of my life, I am not ready to move on yet; freezing me in shock of unfathomable emotions of grief and remorse, it is that soul-wrenching.
I found myself asking, "What was the meaning and purpose of my life? This led to a poignant epiphany. I realized I allowed myself to live in fear and unhappiness throughout my life rather than loving myself, and I disregarded my own worth. Without gratitude, I couldn't appreciate my life, and as a result, life didn't seem to love me back. I was never enough to live up to my full potential, and this sense of failure deeply saddened and pierced my heart!
Unintentionally, chanting the Japanese gratitude mantra comforted me and reminded me that I still had to work on helping people heal and share my life experiences and my knowledge; that is unfinished business. My guiding lights, RHS, and end-of-life review experience encouraged me to seek a second chance to complete my life work. As I emerged from this extraordinary experience, I found myself back in my own body, feeling an indescribable pain and overwhelming anxiety.
My psychic consultant and long time friend's reading on my vision below is undoubtedly validating.
I was given a choice to manifest live or die, yet I was so reluctant to choose either way. Those people are transitioning or already dead, and I could easily decide to join them. The Hearses were a clear indication of my death and powerful symbols. The darkness reflected my life as if I were leaving unfinished business.
The only way to live forward is through the golden stars; the darkness shows my reality and death. Following the star's directions, I am finishing an ominous solemn.
After spending six days in the ICU, I moved in with my family for over two months to receive their support and help due to my disability. I wasn't capable of living independently.
Those months were quite rough, as I expected. It was a mental and physical recovery challenging than I had anticipated.
My goal was to go home by the end of November to take care of myself. I learned to walk with a cane, ride a bus, and go to acupuncture and PT. I practiced every day by walking downstairs and outside of the house by myself. This was the beginning of my intensive healing process.