Moving Forward With Love
In November of 2022, one day, out of the blue, I had an aha moment, an epiphany, and the warmest feeling hovered over me. Somehow, I knew it was for my mother, who I had never felt that way before. My reaction absolutely dumbfounded me, spontaneously surrounding her with the white light and guiding her purifying and healing, just like I do for my clients and loved ones with unconditional love. Everything was feeling feathery and mystical. Asking her for forgiveness for my rejecting and dismissing her...leaving Japan, not attending her funeral, and not honoring our relationship. That moment changed everything in time and space; I was in bliss, and she was smiling and transcending with her spiritual guides. That happened so quickly as the heavy weight lifted, and family dynamics were healing. We were finally at peace and freeing ourselves and each other. With clarity, I surrendered all I was carrying and felt enormously lighter.
It felt like we have been spending our whole life together, working to heal each trauma and wound. Now, we have completed our karmic agreement.
I have deep compassion for her life and empathize with how desperately she wanted to be loved and cared for. Clearly, I was finally starting to connect with her ancestral pain and suffering.
In my mother's era, there was no counseling, no network or diversity support system, and much fewer social contacts. In Japanese culture, they did not speak and express feelings and emotions, as it was not socially accepted. They kept everything tightly to themself back then.
My heart goes out to the Japanese or any women who had to survive in cultural conditions under strain and suffer in agonizing silence being not socially recognized.
Seeing mother as an individual woman, not as my mother, every step of the way, I was in awe of profound compassion for her destitute, dying alone and leaving so many regrets about her unfinished business and having all her children turned against her.
It took a lifetime to find us in this day and age... I have duplicated my mother's karma, feeling unworthy, unhappy, and having a loveless life, which is the life lesson I came to learn. We shared identical sufferings throughout our lives; we were the best opponent and the best match, and we nailed it; if I had to do it again, yes, I would, but differently; it's so immeasurable what I have gained. I am forever grateful for our accomplishment. My sincere prayers for my family members to not repeat what I had to endure, and this family karma is to be done by my generation.
After my mother and my reconciliation, my relationships with my children were e significantly affected. As a result, I am free from unreasonable expectations and codependency, and now learning to build healthy boundaries with my family and loved ones openly.
That created open space for us to grow as a family. As a result, our previous intensely guarded, uptight relationship has disappeared. Nowadays, we are becoming a more relaxed and happier family.
The bottom line that amazes me is that my family healing was done energetically, with my intention. I spiritually worked through my meditation, creating my heartfelt desire to have a loving family with no confrontation, counseling, or communication needed in this healing process. My family relationship identifies who I am. I feel incredibly fortunate and blessed to have them in my life; they are my love-created masterpieces! My lifetime effort finally paid off! And prayers have been heard, and I am in awe of gratitude!
“Family whole life begins, and love never ends.” By unknown